A For Adventure was originally intended as a series to write about the outings Rocket Baby and I enjoy together. To be honest it's probably the only thing I have going for this blog that sets us apart. As Trevor and I enter into a new adventure in parenting, I thought that a parenting specific edition would be fun and hopefully inspiring to other parents.
On December 2nd, our darling Rocket turned 2. I knew when I was pregnant that there was something truly special about this boy of ours. Aside from the way he healed our hearts after a pregnancy loss, or the way his name came to be, I just knew there was something else.
Rocket Baby has always been spirited, sensitive, and particular in nature. So much so that I wrote out an extensive list of his behaviors to discuss with his Dr. I honestly believed he may have a high functioning form of Asperger's. After discussing my concerns his Dr very confidently told me he does not believe Rocket Baby has Asperger's, but he is highly sensitive. Well, duh! I knew that! I just didn't know this was something Dr's actually "diagnosed". I assumed a diagnosis would be Asperger's.
I'm so thankful that Trevor and I have chosen a path of peaceful parenting. We do not hit or spank, we take Rocket Baby's feelings into consideration and we've always tried to accommodate his sensitive spirit. Over the past 6 weeks, after suffering another pregnancy loss, Rocket Baby's behavior took a major turn. He was very, very aware of what was going on, although at not even 2 he certainly didn't understand. He has been hitting, spitting, throwing things, and not responding well to any forms of peaceful discipline we have tried. Yes some of this stuff can be chalked up to him being a toddler, but unless you have a highly sensitive child, it's a bit hard to understand.
We try our best to be patient, kind, and respectful. These are all things I want our son to know well. It's so hard to do when you're basically at your wits end trying to redirect negative behaviors. I belong to a Babywearing group with some seriously awesome mothers and I saw someone recommend The Highly Sensitive Child by Elaine Aron. After visiting amazon and taking the short quiz determining if your child is HS, I knew I needed this book. I knew I needed it even more when his Dr said he is definitely HS. So today we stopped at Barnes and Noble and picked up a copy. I'm so anxious to dive in and will be doing a book review and my first giveaway after completing this book.
In the meantime, if you believe you may have a HSC, I would encourage you to take the short quiz and educate yourself on the best ways to parent a HSC. I truly believe God gives us kids to grow us and shape is into better people. Rocket Baby has taught me so much patience and understanding. I would not be the person I am without him and above all else, I want to parent him the way he deserves. The way he needs me to parent.
One last thing. If your child is highly sensitive, you are not alone!
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Monday, December 3, 2012
Simplifying Gift Giving
So I'm sure most of you have hear the cute little rhyme that has been circulating for a few years. The basic premise is to simplify gift giving.
- Something you want
- Something you need
- Something to wear
- Something to read
I've decided to adapt this into our own family dynamic. I want Rocket Baby to grow up being appreciative of the things he has. I want him to be gracious and kind and generous. Teaching those qualities begins early and a perfect time to teach this is during the holidays.
I remember growing up and having the best Christmas mornings imaginable. Tons of presents, wrapping paper and bows and ribbons littering the living room, and a barrage of new games and toys to occupy us ll day long. And while those memories are fantastic and I treasure them, I also think they set my siblings and I up for disappointment as adults. Christmas isn't as epic as it was when we were kids. Now we have bills and families and practical expenses that don't make it easy to splurge and go all out.
I believe that this season is to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, whom we believe to be our Lord and Saviour. There is so much focus on getting that the reasons for giving are lost in translation. I believe we give to reflect Christlikeness. To celebrate a birth of a Saviour. Giving shouldn't come with conditions, long lists, and frustration. Giving shouldn't be stressful. It shouldn't give you a headache. It should come from a pure heart and be received with gratitude and grace.
For me the idea of simplifying Christmas is to grow Rocket Baby to know and understand that we celebrate to honor Jesus. Our pastor mentioned two Sundays ago that we are blessed to be a blessing to others. This is especially true suing the holidays. I want things like volunteering and giving to others to be commonplace for Rocket Baby. I want him to look forward to helping out at the local shelter then to open a ridiculous amount of gifts he really doesn't need.
Want. Need. Wear. Read. Four things. The most important gift we can give him is a humble heart and a eagerness to do good things.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Seasons
Again, this poor neglected blog!! We have been walking through such a crazy season in life. It escaped my mind that this thing even existed. I'm hoping to get back on track in several ways.
1 ~ I think people probably get annoyed with how much I talk about Rocket Baby on my Facebook page. I'm going to start doing an update on how awesome he is and brag, brag, brag. I love this sweet baby of mine and life with him is an adventure.
2 ~ I still love the idea I had behind A For Adventure and I want to keep up with that and explore the great NW with my darling Rocket.
And 3 ~ To write away emotions. Like I said, this season for us has been crazy. We recently lost a pregnancy. I was 15 weeks along. This is the second pregnancy I've lost in 4 years. One thing I've learned is how amazingly supportive my community of friend and family are, but I have also learned that others are not always so blessed. In a loss like this it's easy to feel alone or like you are a burden to others and that simply isn't true. Unfortunately these types of losses are far too common and I'm passionate about normalizing the discussion of it.
So there you have it. A short and sweet and real update
1 ~ I think people probably get annoyed with how much I talk about Rocket Baby on my Facebook page. I'm going to start doing an update on how awesome he is and brag, brag, brag. I love this sweet baby of mine and life with him is an adventure.
2 ~ I still love the idea I had behind A For Adventure and I want to keep up with that and explore the great NW with my darling Rocket.
And 3 ~ To write away emotions. Like I said, this season for us has been crazy. We recently lost a pregnancy. I was 15 weeks along. This is the second pregnancy I've lost in 4 years. One thing I've learned is how amazingly supportive my community of friend and family are, but I have also learned that others are not always so blessed. In a loss like this it's easy to feel alone or like you are a burden to others and that simply isn't true. Unfortunately these types of losses are far too common and I'm passionate about normalizing the discussion of it.
So there you have it. A short and sweet and real update
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Words Of Affirmation - Uplifting Our Children
We have all had bad days as parents. You know the day. When your child wakes before the birds, thinks naps are for the weak, tantrums galore....you know. This was our day today. We hit a point where I wanted to cry right along with Rocket Baby. I decided to do something else instead.
Our toddlers don't always have the ability to communicate with us. They can't tell us their needs or wants. Today reminded me of this. Crying wasn't going to help the situation. Instead I started talking to him.
"I know you aren't feeling well today, buddy"
"It's ok to be cranky. Everyone has cranky days"
"This day has been hard, but I want you to know Mama loves you very much and God loves you even more"
It just dawned on me how much I want positive words to influence my child. I've overhead and even read people calling their children names like "asshole" or "little shits". These aren't words I ever want my son to associate himself with. Sure these words aren't always spoken in the presence of the child and it's often said as a joke.
I don't get the joke.
We all vent and release angry and frustration in different ways, but I don't ever want to be someone who chooses to release my issues on my child. I know I'll slip up. I know I'll fall short but it's so important to try my hardest. To do my best.
It's become second nature for me to tell Rocket Baby how much I love him, how special he is and how awesome he makes life, daily. Our kids will be teased and picked on and see so much negative in the outside world, we don't need to bring that home. And I know we all love our children immensely. This is in no way an attack, but hopefully an eye opener. What are you saying to your children? Are your negative words more frequent then the positive? Really pay attention to your words. I chose to be positive today and despite the bumps in the road, this day was still a blessing. Rocket Baby is still a precious gift. He deserves to be loved and nurtured not cut down and beaten up.
I encourage anyone reading this to use your words wisely! Use them for uplifting and healing and helping. Use them to nurture and love. This is important stuff. After all, kids are our future and no one wants to end up in an old folks home ;)
- Jasmine
Our toddlers don't always have the ability to communicate with us. They can't tell us their needs or wants. Today reminded me of this. Crying wasn't going to help the situation. Instead I started talking to him.
"I know you aren't feeling well today, buddy"
"It's ok to be cranky. Everyone has cranky days"
"This day has been hard, but I want you to know Mama loves you very much and God loves you even more"
It just dawned on me how much I want positive words to influence my child. I've overhead and even read people calling their children names like "asshole" or "little shits". These aren't words I ever want my son to associate himself with. Sure these words aren't always spoken in the presence of the child and it's often said as a joke.
I don't get the joke.
We all vent and release angry and frustration in different ways, but I don't ever want to be someone who chooses to release my issues on my child. I know I'll slip up. I know I'll fall short but it's so important to try my hardest. To do my best.
It's become second nature for me to tell Rocket Baby how much I love him, how special he is and how awesome he makes life, daily. Our kids will be teased and picked on and see so much negative in the outside world, we don't need to bring that home. And I know we all love our children immensely. This is in no way an attack, but hopefully an eye opener. What are you saying to your children? Are your negative words more frequent then the positive? Really pay attention to your words. I chose to be positive today and despite the bumps in the road, this day was still a blessing. Rocket Baby is still a precious gift. He deserves to be loved and nurtured not cut down and beaten up.
I encourage anyone reading this to use your words wisely! Use them for uplifting and healing and helping. Use them to nurture and love. This is important stuff. After all, kids are our future and no one wants to end up in an old folks home ;)
- Jasmine
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Playing Catch Up
This very poor and neglected blog! We have been so busy that I haven't had the energy to write at the end of the day. Toddler life is crazy and Rocket baby is definitely giving us a run for our money. So between fun crafts, insane tantrums, park trips and a toddler that doesn't sleep...well, you get the picture. Sleep is actually what this post is about.
We decided months and months ago not to sleep train Rocket Baby. After several failed past attempts and growing in our abilities to make decisions on our own (pesky docs and well meaning family!) we decided to play it out and see how he does on his own. We have finally come to a head and something has to give. I've considered weaning him, which he is not ready for so we will wait. We successfully transferred him to his crib for part of the night. Then all hell broke loose.
He has never consistently slept through the night (friendly tip - from a doctors perspective sleeping through the night is 5 consecutive hours, so if you're getting that be grateful!!) and while that is the ultimate goal, we are approaching it gently. Oh, I totally lost my train of thought, thanks mom brain. So all hell broke loose by way of Rocket Baby climbing out of his crib or freaking out and throwing himself in the rails, which I assume is by accident since he throws himself during tantrums all day long.
After hearing tons about Montessori Floor Beds, I decided why the heck not? Let's give it a go. There are several moms I follow on instagram that use floor beds and many blog posts about them. The basic idea is that everything should be on your child's level. It helps them feel comfortable, safe and secure in their space. This means pictures, mirrors and any other decor at their eye level. I spent most of today working on this
Naptime started out great, but ended badly after Rocket Baby woke up screaming with a stinky diaper, which also meant no nap today and darn it this Mama is tired! Bedtime went much better. I nursed him as usual until he was sleeping. This is something I haven't done in awhile, but I knew with how upset he got during our nap attempt, he was going to need some help. So I nursed him, laid him down and he popped right up screaming. I ended up nursing him again while awkwardly lying in bed with him then I moved myself to the floor and laid there until he fell asleep and snuck out. He has been asleep for almost 2 hours as I write this! We peeked in on him sleeping and he is cuddled up into his giant lion (its kind of like an oversized pillow pet) on the floor. At some point he rolled off of his bed, but hey..he didn't wake up and that's all that matters!
Hoping tomorrow we have a better naptime experience. I'm sure a park playdate will help ensure a tired baby at 1.
-Jasmine
We decided months and months ago not to sleep train Rocket Baby. After several failed past attempts and growing in our abilities to make decisions on our own (pesky docs and well meaning family!) we decided to play it out and see how he does on his own. We have finally come to a head and something has to give. I've considered weaning him, which he is not ready for so we will wait. We successfully transferred him to his crib for part of the night. Then all hell broke loose.
He has never consistently slept through the night (friendly tip - from a doctors perspective sleeping through the night is 5 consecutive hours, so if you're getting that be grateful!!) and while that is the ultimate goal, we are approaching it gently. Oh, I totally lost my train of thought, thanks mom brain. So all hell broke loose by way of Rocket Baby climbing out of his crib or freaking out and throwing himself in the rails, which I assume is by accident since he throws himself during tantrums all day long.
After hearing tons about Montessori Floor Beds, I decided why the heck not? Let's give it a go. There are several moms I follow on instagram that use floor beds and many blog posts about them. The basic idea is that everything should be on your child's level. It helps them feel comfortable, safe and secure in their space. This means pictures, mirrors and any other decor at their eye level. I spent most of today working on this
Naptime started out great, but ended badly after Rocket Baby woke up screaming with a stinky diaper, which also meant no nap today and darn it this Mama is tired! Bedtime went much better. I nursed him as usual until he was sleeping. This is something I haven't done in awhile, but I knew with how upset he got during our nap attempt, he was going to need some help. So I nursed him, laid him down and he popped right up screaming. I ended up nursing him again while awkwardly lying in bed with him then I moved myself to the floor and laid there until he fell asleep and snuck out. He has been asleep for almost 2 hours as I write this! We peeked in on him sleeping and he is cuddled up into his giant lion (its kind of like an oversized pillow pet) on the floor. At some point he rolled off of his bed, but hey..he didn't wake up and that's all that matters!
Hoping tomorrow we have a better naptime experience. I'm sure a park playdate will help ensure a tired baby at 1.
-Jasmine
Sunday, June 3, 2012
A For Adventure
For some strange reason, Rocket Baby has been taking two naps again (I'm blaming the fact that he wakes with the birds). Normally this throws off our day and plans have to be shuffled but yesterday it worked out well. We ended up taking him to The Starlight Parade in Portland, Or.
This was a very last minute decision, we left our house at 815 and got to the parade at 845, about 15 minute after we arrived. Parking wasn't as hellish as I anticipated and we were able to find a place only two blocks from the action.
I wish we had planned a bit better since I ended up with Rocket Baby on my shoulders for quite a stretch of time, just so he could see. Staking a claim would have been an adventure in and of itself since typically people arrive hours early to get a great spot and that task with a high energy 18 month old sounds like a freaking nightmare. In all, I'm glad we braved the crowds. I don't even mind my sore neck and shoulders from holding Rocket Baby up most of the time we were there.
6 years ago on June 2nd 2006, my now husband proposed to me. Last night was also Rocket Baby's 18 month birthday. So to be standing in a crowd, watching floats and bands go by, was truly a surreal moment. Carrying my darling son with my husband by my side on a night that held great signfigance for us. I'm glad we took this adventure together. I'm so thankful Trevor sacrificed a night at home after a 10 hour work day to stand in a crowd with us. I imagine the twinkle in Rocket Baby's eyes was worth it for him. Rocket Baby has taught me so much. Life is an adventure and I'm glad I have these men in my life to enjoy it with.
- Jasmine
I wish we had planned a bit better since I ended up with Rocket Baby on my shoulders for quite a stretch of time, just so he could see. Staking a claim would have been an adventure in and of itself since typically people arrive hours early to get a great spot and that task with a high energy 18 month old sounds like a freaking nightmare. In all, I'm glad we braved the crowds. I don't even mind my sore neck and shoulders from holding Rocket Baby up most of the time we were there.
6 years ago on June 2nd 2006, my now husband proposed to me. Last night was also Rocket Baby's 18 month birthday. So to be standing in a crowd, watching floats and bands go by, was truly a surreal moment. Carrying my darling son with my husband by my side on a night that held great signfigance for us. I'm glad we took this adventure together. I'm so thankful Trevor sacrificed a night at home after a 10 hour work day to stand in a crowd with us. I imagine the twinkle in Rocket Baby's eyes was worth it for him. Rocket Baby has taught me so much. Life is an adventure and I'm glad I have these men in my life to enjoy it with.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
And So We Begin
Writing is something that gets me by. I am by no means a genius writer, it is strictly something I enjoy doing. Sharing my thoughts. Writing away the day. This is the general premise behind this blog for myself. Ideally I can get Trevor on board to share his thoughts as well, although his posts I assume will be few and far between (especially since I have yet to mention it to him). While this venture is mostly for my family, it is also for the reader and input on topics is always welcome! Here's to hoping we all get something out of this together.
- Jasmine
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